1. Never take the first taxi that comes.
  2. Or the second.
  3. You’re not really in shock unless you have a blanket.
  4. You can always get a mobile phone signal even in the middle of Dartmoor.
  5. You can be forgiven almost anything if you have killer cheekbones.
  6. Stupid comments can lower the IQ of the whole street.
  7. Even soft-as-kittens’ doctors can have bad days.
  8. Just because you’re forced to meet a strange man in a dark, mysterious location doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil.
  9. Of course, it also doesn’t mean he’s not.
  10. Don’t take coffee from a man who never makes it. No matter how repentant he looks.
  11. All the cool super-villains are called Jim.
  12. The A to Z of London has all sorts of uses.
  13. Never let anyone take a picture of you wearing a funny hat.
  14. You’re overdressed if you wear more than a sheet to Buckingham Palace.
  15. Once you move in with a high-functioning sociopath, your life will never be the same.
  16. ‘Vatican cameos’ can save lives.
  17. There are two types of fan: catch me before I kill again, and your places is only fifteen minutes away…
  18. Taxis won’t take you if you’re covered in blood and carrying a harpoon.
  19. Gatiss and Moffat are twin gods and Thompson their high priest.
  20. To really focus on a problem you need a mind palace.
  21. Sweet, motherly landladies are made of steel.
  22. Serious brain-teasers can be solved with the help of three nicotine patches.
  23. Brainy is the new sexy.
  24. Never go onto the roof of St. Bart’s Hospital without a parachute.
  25. Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman should both be knighted for services to humanity.

And the half: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was a genius. But I already knew that.


About Geri Schear

Geri Schear is an award-winning novelist, author of three Sherlock Holmes and Lady Beatrice books published by MX Publishing. Her short stories have appeared in a number of journals. For further information, see her page at Amazon:
This entry was posted in Stuff and Nonsense. Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Jane E says:

    Tee hee! Very funny!


  2. crazyinpink says:

    Reblogged this on crazyinpink and commented:
    This made me smile, laugh and nod emphatically in agreement. Love. It.


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